I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
