I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
