10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
