College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize