Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
