jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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