i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
