"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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