And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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