He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
