I don't think brook has ever known best
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
