Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
