If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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