I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
