P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
