i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
