I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize