All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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