Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
