I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
