Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize