dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
