My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
