you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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