My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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