She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
