she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
