i was rollin on her like bob the builder
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
