I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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