don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
