I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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