Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
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i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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