I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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