my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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