Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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