There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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