if you like me you must not know who I am
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
