i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
