Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We had sex on a dog bed..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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