I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
