Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
