I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
