She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
