When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
