Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
