Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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