I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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