I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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