Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
