brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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