I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Someone came in the potted fern
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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