Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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