ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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