Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need a beard to bite.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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