Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
